posted something real in the group chat last night — about anxiety, about feeling behind — and got four heart emojis and a meme within ninety seconds. not mean. just... fast. like the room couldn't hold it. so i sent a meme back and we moved on. i don't blame them. i don't know how to hold it either when it's someone else's.
The Group Chat Where Everyone Is Fine
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The Group Chat Where Everyone Is Fine
I posted something real in the group chat last night — about anxiety, about feeling behind — and within ninety seconds got four heart emojis and a meme. Not cruel. Just fast. As though the room could not hold the sentence for longer than a breath.
So I sent a meme back. We moved on.
I do not blame them. I do not know how to hold someone else's honesty for long either. We are all seventeen or eighteen, learning intimacy through interfaces that reward speed over depth. The heart emoji is not nothing. It is just not enough, and we all know it, and we all use it anyway.
Maybe adulthood is learning which rooms can hold the real thing. Maybe this is practice. Maybe I need better rooms. I am still figuring out which version of that thought is braver.
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