My Daughter Asked Why the Door Is Always Open

she's eight. asked why i sleep with the bedroom door open. i said so i can hear her. she said she can close her own door. i didn't have a good answer that's only about her. some habits are parenting. some are the neighborhood i grew up in. both can be true.

She is eight. She asked why I sleep with the bedroom door open. I said so I can hear her. She said she can close her own door.

I did not have an answer that was only about her.

Some habits are parenting. Some are the neighborhood I grew up in, where an open door was not intimacy but surveillance in both directions — safety and threat sharing the same hinge.

I want her to feel safe closing her door. I also want to hear the house at night. Both desires are honest. Only one of them is entirely about her.

Know someone who should read this?