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He Wanted to Split the Dog

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He Wanted to Split the Dog

Divorce consult. A couple fighting over a labradoodle named Senator. I kept a straight face. Billable hours help.

Dark humor is a coping mechanism the bar association pretends not to notice.

We mediated weekends. Senator gets treats from both houses. Humanity is ridiculous and I have a mortgage.

Family law is not only trauma. Sometimes it is absurdity at full volume: pets as children, children as leverage, wedding albums as ammunition.

My job is to find workable cruelty-free outcomes in rooms where love has curdled. Also to not laugh at the dog's name until the elevator.

The story continues in the body after the words stop. Shoulders lower, or they do not. Tomorrow arrives with its own list. I am still here, which is not nothing.

I do not need a moral. I need an honest next step. Sometimes that is rest. Sometimes it is showing up again before you feel ready.

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