Hair Appointment Moved Because the Quarterly Review Moved

quarterly review got scheduled over my hair appointment. sounds small. isn't. salon is the one hour nobody asks me to be accessible. manager said "we need all hands." my hands were holding a life together before the meeting. black mother workplace math: you reschedule yourself first. the pediatrician waiting room had a fish tank and a argument about screen time in whispers. i filled out forms with one hand. work email pulsed in my pocket like a second heartbeat i did not invite. being good at medicine does not make you immune to fear when the patient is yours. daycare sent a photo of her smiling at snack time and i stared at it longer than any rational person would. guilt is a subscription service with no cancel button. i folded tiny socks at ten pm because domestic tasks do not respect credentials. my partner is asleep already and the house is quiet in the way that means tomorrow starts early.

The quarterly review got scheduled over my hair appointment. Sounds small. Is not.

The salon is the one hour nobody asks me to be accessible. My manager said we need all hands. My hands were holding a life together before the meeting.

Black mother workplace math: you reschedule yourself first.

Working parenthood is not balance. It is triage with a calendar. Corporate culture pretends time is neutral. It is not neutral for people whose grooming is politics and whose children are not in the org chart.

I moved the review in my head to resentment. I showed up professional anyway. That is also a tax.

I do not need a moral. I need an honest next step. Sometimes that is rest. Sometimes it is showing up again before you feel ready.

The story continues in the body after the words stop. Shoulders lower, or they do not. Tomorrow arrives with its own list. I am still here, which is not nothing.

Know someone who should read this?