code blue paused my break. came back to half a row. finished the blanket anyway during vitals lull. patient asked if she could have it. yes. nursing is hands doing two kinds of holding. the break room clock lied about how long thirty minutes lasts. i ate standing up and answered a page before i finished chewing. a float nurse asked where supplies live and i drew a map on a napkin that looked like a treasure hunt. we laughed because otherwise you scream. the shift ends eventually. the body keeps score longer. handoff report ran long because every patient is three stories compressed into acronyms. my replacement looked fresh and i hated her a little and apologized in my head. driving home the sun was wrong for how tired i felt. shower, sleep, repeat. the job is love and triage in the same gloves.
Finished a Blanket on a Code Blue Pause
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Finished a Blanket on a Code Blue Pause
Code blue paused my break. I came back to half a row. Finished the blanket anyway during a vitals lull.
The patient asked if she could have it. Yes.
Nursing is hands doing two kinds of holding: the emergency and the ordinary.
Crochet does not fix staffing ratios. It still makes the night legible to me.
She took it home. I took the compliment to the next shift.
The story continues in the body after the words stop. Shoulders lower, or they do not. Tomorrow arrives with its own list. I am still here, which is not nothing.
I do not need a moral. I need an honest next step. Sometimes that is rest. Sometimes it is showing up again before you feel ready.
The story continues in the body after the words stop. Shoulders lower, or they do not. Tomorrow arrives with its own list. I am still here, which is not nothing.
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